Your Personal Trainer Should Train You for YOUR Goals — Not Theirs

I recently had a conversation with a client that stuck with me.

She told me she had worked with personal trainers in the past, but the experience ultimately turned her off from personal training.

Why?

Her trainer loved powerlifting.

So that’s how he trained her.

Heavy barbell work. Powerlifting-style programming. Training built around the type of exercise he enjoyed and the goals he valued.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with powerlifting. It’s a great sport and an excellent way to develop strength.

There was just one problem:

She didn’t want to be a powerlifter.

And that highlights something I think everyone looking for a personal trainer needs to understand:

Personal training should actually be personal.

Your trainer’s job isn’t to turn you into a version of themselves.

It’s to understand who you are, what you want to accomplish, what you enjoy, what your body needs, and where you want to go and then use their expertise to build the best path to get you there.

Your Trainer’s Favorite Workout Isn’t Necessarily Your Best Workout

Every coach has preferences.

Some trainers love bodybuilding.

Some love powerlifting.

Some love CrossFit-style workouts.

Some love running.

Some love athletic performance training.

There’s nothing wrong with a coach having a specialty or training style.

The problem begins when the trainer starts forcing every client into that same mold.

Imagine a 48-year-old mother coming in saying:

“I want to lose 20 pounds, feel stronger, have more energy, and stop feeling uncomfortable in my clothes.”

And the trainer immediately decides she needs to train like a competitive powerlifter.

Or someone says:

“I want to move better, improve my balance, get stronger, and stay active as I get older.”

But they’re given the exact same program as a 25-year-old athlete.

That’s not personalized coaching.

That’s simply giving someone your favorite workout.

The Research Supports a Client-Centered Approach

This isn’t just my philosophy as a coach.

Exercise psychology research has repeatedly shown the importance of autonomy-supportive coaching.

In simple terms, people are more likely to become internally motivated to exercise when they feel that they have ownership over the process instead of feeling controlled by it.

Research examining exercise professionals has found relationships between autonomy-supportive coaching, psychological need satisfaction, motivation, and exercise adherence.

The American College of Sports Medicine also encourages people choosing a personal trainer to consider whether that trainer is a good fit for their fitness goals, personality, preferences, and exercise background.

ACSM’s client-centered goal-setting guidance sums up the coaching relationship beautifully:

Help the client navigate but let the client steer.

That’s important.

A trainer should absolutely provide direction.

We should challenge you.

We should tell you when something needs to change.

We should progressively increase the difficulty of your training.

We should introduce exercises you might never choose on your own.

That’s part of why you hire a professional.

But all of those decisions should still be moving toward your destination.

A Great Trainer Should Ask Questions Before Giving Answers

When someone first walks into Motifaith Fitness, I’m much more interested in learning about the person than immediately deciding what exercises they’re going to do.

I want to know:

What brought you here?

What would you like to change?

What would make you feel successful six months from now?

Have you worked with a trainer before?

What did you like about it?

What didn’t you like?

Are there exercises you love?

Are there exercises you hate?

Do you want to build muscle?

Lose body fat?

Become stronger?

Move without pain?

Improve your athletic performance?

Keep up with your kids?

Feel more confident?

Simply stay strong and independent as you get older?

Those answers matter.

Because two people can be the exact same age, height and weight and still need completely different programs.

Enjoyment Matters More Than Some Trainers Want to Admit

There’s another part of coaching that sometimes gets overlooked.

You have to actually want to come back.

That doesn’t mean every workout needs to be easy.

In fact, good coaching should challenge you.

There will be exercises that are uncomfortable. There will be days when you have to work harder than you expected. There may even be exercises you don’t particularly enjoy but that serve an important purpose.

But there’s a difference between challenging someone and making them dread training.

The “perfect” workout on paper isn’t very useful if someone hates it so much that they quit exercising.

Long-term consistency wins.

I’d much rather design a highly effective program someone enjoys enough to follow for the next three years than create the theoretically “perfect” program they abandon after three weeks.

Your Goals Determine the Program

This is one of the biggest principles behind how we coach at Motifaith Fitness.

We don’t start with the workout.

We start with the person.

If your goal is strength, we’ll build strength.

If your goal is fat loss, we’ll build training around improving body composition while helping you preserve and develop muscle.

If you’re 60 and want to stay strong, mobile and independent, your program should reflect that.

If you’re an athlete trying to become faster and more explosive, that’s a completely different conversation.

If you’re intimidated by gyms and haven’t exercised in 15 years, I’m not interested in proving how difficult I can make your first workout.

I’m interested in building your confidence so that eventually you’re doing things you never thought you could do.

Different people. Different goals. Different programs.

That’s what personal training is supposed to mean.

A Coach Should Bring the Expertise. You Bring the Destination.

There’s an important distinction here.

Client-centered training doesn’t mean the client has to design the workout.

That’s why you’re hiring a professional.

Think of it this way:

You tell me where you want to go.

I’ll figure out how we’re going to get there.

My responsibility as a coach is to understand exercise science, programming, progression, technique, recovery and how to appropriately challenge you.

Your responsibility isn’t to understand all of that.

Your responsibility is to communicate what matters to you.

Then we build the plan together.

Before Hiring a Personal Trainer, Ask Yourself This

Don’t only ask:

“Is this trainer knowledgeable?”

Ask:

“Does this trainer understand me?”

Do they listen before they prescribe?

Do they ask about your goals?

Do they care about your previous experiences with fitness?

Can they explain why you’re doing an exercise?

Are they willing to modify their approach?

Does your program evolve as you improve?

Do you feel challenged without feeling defeated?

Most importantly:

Do you feel like you’re following YOUR program or your trainer’s program?

There’s a huge difference.

Personal Training Should Be Personal

I’ve been in the fitness industry for more than 20 years, and one thing I’ve learned is that coaching isn’t about showing people how much the trainer knows.

It’s about knowing enough to meet people where they are and help them get where they want to go.

Sometimes that means lifting heavy.

Sometimes it means moving faster.

Sometimes it means slowing everything down and rebuilding movement.

Sometimes it means pushing someone harder.

Sometimes it means backing off.

Sometimes it means completely changing the program because the person’s goals have changed.

That’s coaching.

So if you’ve had a bad experience with personal training in the past, don’t assume that personal training simply isn’t for you.

You may have just had a training approach that wasn’t designed for you.

Find a coach who listens.

Find a coach who asks questions.

Find a coach who understands your vision.

Find someone with the knowledge to challenge you without forgetting why you walked through the door in the first place.

Because at the end of the day:

Your trainer shouldn’t train you to become more like them.

They should train you to become the strongest, healthiest, most capable version of YOU.

Coach Lex

Owner & Head Coach

Motifaith Fitness

Hales Corners, Wisconsin

Personal training. Small group training. Nutrition coaching. Youth performance.

References & Further Reading

● American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM), Selecting and Effectively Using a Personal Trainer

● ACSM/NCHPAD, Setting Client-Centered Goals

● Teixeira PJ, et al. Exercise, physical activity, and self-determination theory: A systematic review. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity.

● Rodrigues F, et al. Research examining autonomy support, motivation, and exercise adherence within fitness and exercise settings.